Tag Archives: God

February 23, 1574

On February 23, 1574, France began the 5th holy war against the Huguenots. Why? Because the first four just weren’t holy enough and didn’t carry the sparkle that God demanded when the Catholics and Protestants went to killing each other. He said that if he wanted to see a down and dirty knuckle-buster, he’d just … Continue reading

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January 8, 1998

On January 8, 1998, scientists announced that they had discovered that the galaxies were accelerating and moving apart. This was a huge announcement in the scientific community, as scientists, prior to this, believed that the mass and gravity of the… Continue reading

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October 1, 1957

On October 1, 1957, the first appearance of “In God We Trust” first appeared on paper currency in the United States. From deep beneath his place of rest underneath the Pentagon, Cthulhu was pleased. Jehovah sent him an… Continue reading

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August 10, 1921

On August 10, 1921, at the age of 39, future New York Governor and US President Franklin Delano Roosevelt was stricken with polio. It has become obvious to some people years later that Roosevelt wouldn’t have become paralyzed if… Continue reading

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March 31, 2000

On March 31, 2000 the apocalyptic Catholic cult, “The Movement for the Restoration of the Ten Commandments of God of Uganda cashed in all their chips. The cult leaders (Credonia Mwerinde, Joseph Kibweteere, Joseph Kasapurari, John Kamagara, and Dominic Kataribabo) bet the house that the world would end on December 31, 1999 and all their … Continue reading

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January 11, 1770

On January 11, 1770, the first shipment of rhubarb was sent to the United States from London, England. The English had obviously decided that the Americans weren’t suffering enough being a colony and needed to be forced to eat a plant that couldn’t even be made into a tasty pie. It does not taste like … Continue reading

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December 13, 1988

On December 13, 1988, a bankruptcy judge in Columbia, South Carolina, ordered that the assets of the PTL (Praise The Lord) television ministry be sold to a Toronto real estate developer for $65 million. Turns out that Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker’s Christian ministry was just a way for them to get rich off of … Continue reading

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September 28, 1990

On September 28, 1990, the Game Boy handheld video game was released in Europe. The rate of Onanism went down by 44% in young men from ages 14 to 26. So instead of self-abusing 5 times a day, they only self-abused 3 times a day. In other news, God killed 44% less kittens in Europe … Continue reading

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July 30, 1956

On This Date in TWISTED-HISTORY.com! in 1956 the phrase “In God We Trust” was adopted as the U.S. national motto. But it never stated ‘which’ god.

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June 19, 1961

On This Date in TWISTED-HISTORY.com! in 1961 the U.S. Supreme Court struck down a provision in Maryland’s constitution that required state officeholders to profess a belief in God. Thomas B. Finan, the Attorney General of Maryland, vowed to disregard the US Supreme Court’s decision and would continue to demand of each office holder to sign … Continue reading

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