February 10, 1567

On February 10, 1567, Lord Darnley, the second husband of Mary, Queen of Scots, was found dead, following an explosion at the Kirk o’Field house in Edinburgh, Scotland. Surprisingly, he didn’t die from the explosion, but instead was found to have been strangled. For years, it was whispered that he hadn’t committed suicide, but was a suspected assassination victim. It has only been recently that a new theory has been pushed about his death. With numerous men experimenting with erotic asphyxiation throughout history, and the accidental deaths of Peter Anthony Motteus, Kichizo Ishida, Frantisek Kotzwara, Albert Dekker, Stephen Mulligan, David Carradine, Michael Hutchence, and Reverend Gary Aldridge, it is now believed that space aliens killed Lord Darnley in a rectal examination gone awry. They put a noose around his naked body and blew up Darnley’s residence to hide their involvement. When a message was sent to Giorgio Tsoukalos and asked his expert opinion about this new theory, it is reported that he replied, “It’s a possibility.”

 

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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