August 25, 1609

On THIS DATE IN TWISTED-HISTORY! in 1609, Galileo Galilei demonstrated his first telescope to a group of Venetian lawmakers. It had the power to magnify objects at three times the power of normal eyesight and it quickly impressed the lawmakers, as well as military men, ship captains, scientists and Giovanni Faberonni. Soon thereafter, Galileo quickly established and ran a very profitable business making telescopes and selling them. The military men used the telescopes to observe enemy movements, the ship captains used it to find land and enemy vessels, the scientists used it to observe the sun, the moon, and the other planets, and Giovanni used it to spy upon naked women. History is fairly certain the others did as well, but only Giovanni was stupid enough to get caught by an angry husband who beat him silly with the offending telescope. Upon hearing about Giovanni’s predicament, Galileo was heard to say, “Serves the stupid peasant right. Everyone knows that you hide behind a curtain while peeping with a telescope.”

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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