June 27, 2005

On This Date in TWISTED-HISTORY.com! in 2005, a 70-million year old dinosaur track was discovered that had been left behind by a three-toed Cretaceous period dinosaur. Biblical Creationists immediately contested the age of the fossil and said at best, it was only 4,352 years old, give or take 10 days, as the Creationists were not certain how long a day actually was at that time. The Creationists claim that when the Noachian Flood occurred 4,352 years ago, it would have deposits layer after layer of mud full of the now drowned and dead animals that didn’t make it on the Ark. This is why scientists keep finding the fossilized bodies, bones, and tracks of all these extinct creatures. Cthuluians quickly exited their dark and foreboding temples (mothers’ basements) and said “Whoa, whoa, Christians and scientists. Those aren’t dinosaur tracks, they’re the footprints of the Children of Cthulu and as such are Holy Relics and you will be damned to the cold dark nothingness of space for disturbing them”. Real scientists just shook their heads and ignored both the Creationists and Cthuluians and continued with their work.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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One Response to June 27, 2005

  1. Albert O'Saurus says:

    Sorry about that. I usually try to clean up after myself, but I must’ve missed that one.

    I realize it’s a darned nuisance when us dinosaurs leave all of this old earth evidence lying around, in blatant contradiction to your deeply-held beliefs.

    Trust me, I know what it’s like. We used to believe that we were going to evolve into some form of humanoid reptiles that would eventually develop advanced technology and rule a vast galactic empire and, well… you see how that turned out, eh?

    Anyway, I’ll try not to let it happen again.

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