Category Archives: 17th Century

Historical Facts from 1601 to 1700 CE

April 14, 1611

On April 14, 1611, the Italian scientist and naturalist Prince Federico Cesi help coin the word ‘telescope’ in a letter he wrote to Galileo Galilei. Interesting enough, in the nearby city of Rome, an Italian gatekeeper coined the phrase “Back that ass up,” when he ordered a Venetian merchant to stop trying to drive his … Continue reading

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April 11, 1689

On April 11, 1689, William III and Mary II became co-sovereigns of Great Britain. If they had any children that could have succeeded to the throne, many mathematicians believe the offspring should have been named Milliam VI or Wary VI. But since they didn’t have any children and their successor was Mary’s sister Anne, the … Continue reading

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February 17, 1600

On February 17, 1600, Italian philosopher, Giordano Bruno, was on his way to be burned at the stake for heresy, when his handlers put a stake through his tongue to shut him the hell up. Why was Bruno sentenced to die? Because he proposed that the distance stars were in fact suns with planets of … Continue reading

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December 26, 1620

On December 26, 1620, Captain Christopher Jones discharged the Pilgrims at Plymouth, Massachusetts. As they were leaving his, he told them, “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.” Captain Jones had discovered during the long ocean voyage, like many others before and after him, that the Puritans were not a fun, … Continue reading

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December 9, 1640

On December 9, 1640, settler and local smart-ass, Hugh Bewitt, was banished from the Puritan Massachusetts Colony when he declared himself free of original sin. He claimed that all the sins he committed were copies of other people’s sins. The leaders of the colony, who were Puritans, couldn’t deal with that level of creativity and … Continue reading

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November 4, 1646

On November 4, 1646, the Massachusetts Bay Colony (which was to later become the state of Massachusetts) passed a law that made it illegal to deny that the Christian Bible was the word of God. The penalty was death. There is nothing funny about this. It shows why every religion should be denied a foothold … Continue reading

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October 28, 1612

On October 28, 1612, King James I of England appointed Robert Dowland as Court Luitist. It was said that his rendition of Greensleeves was a real shift raiser. James’s wife, Anne of Denmark was none too pleased.

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October 23, 1690

On October 23, 1690, the citizen of Haarlem, Netherlands revolted against the government for one day. The city had enacted a public ban against smoking. The citizens rose up, for a little bit, and hacked and coughed their way to the town hall, where they had a bit of a rest. They then yelled and … Continue reading

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September 6, 1620

On September 6, 1620, the Pilgrims left on the Mayflower from Plymouth, England to set up their own little religious colony in the New World. Contrary to popular American belief, the Pilgrims did not leave England because they weren’t allowed to practice their brand of Protestantism. They left because they were no longer able to … Continue reading

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September 3, 1658

On September 3, 1658, after the death of Oliver Cromwell, Richard Cromwell succeeded his father as Lord Protector of England. Richard was not prepared to rule England as the Lord Protector and he knew it, especially since the Army had no faith in him and his father left the country in debt with a deficit … Continue reading

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