Author Archives: Joel Byers

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.

April 11, 1985

On April 11, 1985, at the Mount Haleakala Observatory of the University of Hawaii, scientist of the non-mad variety measured the distance between the earth and the moon to within one inch. They did use powerful lasers, which weren’t attached … Continue reading

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April 10, 1992

On April 10, 1992, just outside Needles, California, comedian Sam Kinison died when his car was struck by a pickup truck on a desert road between Los Angeles and Las Vegas. He went immediately to hell and the devil looked … Continue reading

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April 9, 1945

On April 9, 1945, National Football League Commissioner Elmer Layden decided that the football paying public no longer wanted to see a professional football player’s hairy, scarred legs. He decreed that all NFL players must wear long stockings that reach … Continue reading

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April 8, 1766

On April 8, 1766, the first fire escape was supposedly patented. There is a rudimentary drawing that showed a wicker basket attached to a rope and pulley system that would allow people to lower themselves to the ground from a … Continue reading

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April 7, 1864

On April 7, 1864, the first camel race was put on by Samuel McLenegham in Sacramento, California. Mr. McLenegham had purchased the camels from the US Army after its failed attempt to establish a Camel Corp that could transport goods … Continue reading

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April 6, 1722

On April 6, 1722, Peter the Great, Tsar of Russia ended the beard tax that he imposed back in 1698. He imposed the tax, along with other measures to modernize Russia so it could compete with the Englands, Frances, and … Continue reading

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April 5, 456

On April 5, 456, the most famous Ophidiophobicist in history returned to Ireland. Saint Patrick returned to Ireland as a missionary bishop and the last snake packed its bags and immigrated to England before making its way to France. The … Continue reading

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April 4, 1581

On April 4, 1581, Sir Francis Drake was knighted by Queen Elizabeth I. This was due to his feat of being the first captain to circumnavigate the world and not die in the attempt. Ferdinand Magellan was the first captain … Continue reading

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April 3, 1776

On April 3, 1776, George Washington received an honorary Doctor of Laws degree from Harvard College. While honored, George Washington almost declined it, as he was waiting to hear back from the Art Instruction School. He’d read an ad in … Continue reading

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April 2, 2008

On April 2, 2008, President Bush backed Ukraine’s and Georgia’s bid to join NATO over the staunch opposition of Russia. Alabama Governor, Bob Riley, secretly sent President Bush a note that whined, “How the H E double hockey sticks is … Continue reading

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