Monthly Archives: September 2019

September 30, 1961

On September 30, 1961, Medford, Oregon Mayor, JW Snyder sent a check of $1.96 to the Davison and Newman Company for their share of the tea that was destroyed and thrown overboard in Boston in 1773. Davison and Newman Co., said that the total loss was $4,966 and they’ve tried to get the British government … Continue reading

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September 29, 1976

On September 29, 1976, on his 41st birthday and during his birthday party, a very drunk Jerry Lee Lewis tried to shoot a soda bottle with his .357 Magnum and missed. Instead, he hit his bass player, Norman “Butch” Owens, twice in the chest. Owens survived and sued Lewis and won $125,000 in damages. What … Continue reading

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September 28, 1990

On September 28, 1990, the Game Boy handheld video game was released in Europe. The rate of Onanism went down by 44% in young men from ages 14 to 26. So instead of self-abusing 5 times a day, they only self-abused 3 times a day. In other news, God killed 44% less kittens in Europe … Continue reading

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September 27, 1855

On September 27, 1855, George Frederick Bristow’s “Rip Van Winkle”, the second American opera, opened in New York City. Critics called it a real snooze-fest. They said it was hard for them to keep their eyes open. They opined that the only song lacking was a lullaby. They witnessed most of the audience hibernating through … Continue reading

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September 26, 1772

On September 26, 1772, the colony of New Jersey passed the first law in the Americas to license medical practitioners. Except those who did not charge for their services or those who only bled people to reduce the amount of hot or poisonous blood in their system or people who only pulled teeth. But if … Continue reading

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September 25, 1992

On September 25, 1992, in Orlando, Florida, 12-year-old Gregory Kingsley was legally divorced from his biological parents. Twelve, thirteen, and fourteen year-olds throughout the United States immediately threatened to divorce their parents when their later curfews, smoking attempts, and back-sassing was blocked by said parents. Unfortunately for these young teenagers, most parents already had the … Continue reading

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September 24, 1961

On September 24, 1961, “The Bullwinkle Show” a cartoon about a clueless North American moose and his more intelligent and friendly flying squirrel companion premiered during prime-time television on NBC-TV.  The cartoon was originally shown on ABC during the afternoon as “Rocky and His Friends.” Russian President, Vladimir Putin learned how not to act and … Continue reading

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September 23, 2002

On September 23, 2002 the first public version of Mozilla Firefox was released in the wild. It quickly overpowered and outperformed the slower and less efficient Internet Explorer. Today, the antiquated and angry program can be seen in museums, certain steam-powered government computer systems, and old geezers personal computers, where the web-browser will wake up … Continue reading

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September 22, 1598

On September 22, 1598, English playwright and director Ben Jonson was arrested and indicted for manslaughter for killing one of his actors, Gabriel Spencer, in a duel. Apparently even in 1598, actors and writers couldn’t get along very well. Gabriel Spencer was no saint, as he was known to drink heavily and become very violent … Continue reading

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September 21, 1957

On September 21, 1957, “Perry Mason” one of the original reality television programs, made its debut on CBS-TV and ran for nine years. It starred the unbeatable and photogenic lawyer, Perry Mason.  It went off the air in 1966 after Mr. Mason was injured in a car wreck after foiling the plans of the Mafia. … Continue reading

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