Monthly Archives: April 2019

April 20, 1818

Posted on April 20, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 20, 1818, in England, the last trial by combat was claimed. In trial by combat, the defendant and the accuser face each other in a 60 foot square, after taking oaths against using witchcraft and sorcery. If the defendant survives the combat, but is defeated, he is hung on the spot. If the … Continue reading →

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April 19, 1861

Posted on April 19, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 19, 1861 Professor Thaddeus S.C. Lowe completed a test flight of a hot air balloon that he was going to try and use to make a transatlantic attempt. He sailed 900 miles in nine hours from Cincinnati, Ohio to Unionville, South Carolina. He averaged 100 miles an hour and was very happy with … Continue reading →

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April 18, 1924

Posted on April 18, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 18, 1924, Simon and Schuster, Inc., published the first “Crossword Puzzle Book” and ecru, soho, erato, alee, and stye became better known words by the general American public. Although a six letter word for ‘strips in geography class’ is still difficult to solve.

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April 17, 1810

Posted on April 17, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 17, 1810, Lewis M. Norton of West Goshen, Pennsylvania patented Pineapple Cheese. Oh MY GOD, was that a real thing? Someone actually made cheese from pineapples. Didn’t anyone tell this man no, just no, don’t do it, Lewis? What horrors this obviously mentally and spiritually damaged man must have suffered to be able … Continue reading →

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April 16, 1705

Posted on April 16, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 16, 1705, Queen Anne of England knighted Isaac Newton for his contributions to math and science that brought prestige and acclaim to the British Empire. The now “Sir” Isaac Newton showed nerds worldwide that hot chicks could also appreciate a huge noggin that could do the mental heavy lifting. Don’t get me wrong, … Continue reading →

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April 15, 1878

Posted on April 15, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 15, 1878, Harley Proctor introduced Ivory Soap to the American consumer. Foul-mouthed children throughout the United States considered the commercially made soap a decided improvement over the homemade variety. The overall consensus was that Ivory Soap had a bouquet that was pleasant to the nose and that the tongue-feel had a certain ‘je … Continue reading →

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April 14, 1984

Posted on April 14, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 14, 1984, the Texas Board of Education began requiring that the state’s public school textbooks specifically describe the evolution of human beings as “theory rather than fact” without explaining the difference between a scientific theory, general opinion, and religious teachings. It should come as no surprise that Texas is one of the states … Continue reading →

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April 13, 1204

Posted on April 13, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 13, 1204 the 4th Crusade went on Spring Break and sacked the fabulously wealthy Mediterranean coast city of Constantinople. Pope Innocent III had called the 4th Crusade to go and capture Jerusalem from the infidel Muslims and the Holy Roman Empire (Italy), the Republic of Venice, and the Kingdom of France answered the … Continue reading →

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April 12, 1955

Posted on April 12, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 12, 1955 the University of Michigan Polio Vaccine Evaluation Center announced that the polio vaccine of Dr. Jonas Salk was “safe, effective, and potent.” Parents all over the United States demanded that the vaccine be administered to their children, since they had grown up with the specter of polio threatening them and their … Continue reading →

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April 11, 1985

Posted on April 11, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 11, 1985, at the Mount Haleakala Observatory of the University of Hawaii, scientist of the non-mad variety measured the distance between the earth and the moon to within one inch. They did use powerful lasers, which weren’t attached to the heads of fricking sharks, that were aimed at and struck mirrored reflectors placed … Continue reading →

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